Joan S (Scott) Frary

Joan S. Frary passed away peacefully at her home in Barrington, RI on August 20, 2024. She was 93. She was the loving wife of Dr. Richard D. Frary for 69 years, who predeceased her in 2023.  She is survived by her sons and their families: Stephen and Patricia of Jamestown, RI, Clinton of Derry, NH, and Adam of Andover, MA, and their children: Elizabeth and Nathaniel, Grace and Audrey, and Cameron and Anjali.  She was predeceased by her oldest son Jeffrey, and her older brother Harry Scott.

Joan was the daughter of Henry C. Scott and Mary A. Donovan Scott.  She was born and raised in Bronxville, NY and graduated from Bronxville High School in 1949.  She earned her Bachelor of Arts Degree from Smith College in 1953, and her Masters Degree in Education from Rhode Island College in 1983.  She taught elementary school in Brookline Massachusetts while her husband Dick completed his Medical School training in Boston. They then settled in Barrington RI to raise their four boys.

Joan loved being a mother, and was actively involved in the children’s activities.  She enthusiastically embraced her role as Den Mother for the Cub Scouts, and with the help of her friend Peggy Formisano, turned young boys in to adventurous pioneers. As part of the Congregational church, she taught Sunday School to the young children. She gladly sacrificed for the kids, and was more interested in supporting their activities than pursuing her own interests.  We remember a tireless mother getting up at 5am to drive us to early morning hockey practices;  donning a baseball glove in the backyard to practice for Little League; driving to weekend-long hockey tournaments in other states; and ferrying kids to sailing regattas around Rhode Island.  And there was the time she packed her boys in to the family station wagon to drive to Waterville Valley Ski Area, expecting to make the trip in 3 hours, when, during the gas crisis of the ’70's (and a lost pocketbook) it turned in to a 9 hour trip. We never saw her lose her temper, or get frustrated or angry. Instead, she taught us how to problem solve, and to have patience and perseverance.

An avid tennis player and athlete in her own right, as a youngster she won trophies with her father as a partner in local tennis tournaments. She continued playing tennis as an adult, very much enjoying her time spent with friends at Center Court, or on backyard tennis courts around town.  She was a devoted spouse, and when her husband Dick wanted to pursue his sailing dreams, she enthusiastically joined in, studying to learn and attending sailing camps.  She was instrumental in making the family cruises around Narragansett Bay and the Islands fun and exciting.  She emphasized teamwork, sportsmanship, dedication, and commitment as a means to developing strong character.  She believed that having many, varied pursuits was the key to a happy life. “Everything in moderation” was one of her favorite mottos. 

Joan had a quiet, kind, even-tempered disposition, and she was rewarded with lifelong friends that were as dear to her as family.  She eagerly looked forward to regular group outings to the Trinity Repertory Theater, the annual New Year’s Eve party at someone's house, or just time spent at backyard morning coffee breaks or evening barbecues. After her children were grown, Joan went back to teaching at the J. Arthur Trudeau Center in Warwick RI.  She loved helping adults in need learn independence in order to successfully function in society, so much so that when Dad retired, he had to convince Mom to retire along with him!  She thrived on the feeling of being useful to the community.

Joan was a true animal lover, and she loved her dogs, and cats, and even the snake Boris, who would ride around the house in her pocket apron, while she did chores.  Her adventurous spirit motivated Mom and Dad to travel to several wildlife destinations around the world, including the African Savanna, the Galapagos Islands, and Antarctica.  She loved to read, and notes on what she wanted to read next are still scattered around the house.  It seemed she was always adding another built-in bookcase to an unused section of wall. She cut out magazine and newspaper articles, obsessively sorting them by theme or topic.  Visits to and from their six grandchildren were a highlight of her retirement. 

Joan was fair and unbiased, had a knack for compromise, and an ability to understand all sides of an issue. She had a subtle, friendly, engaging sense of humor, often catching you off guard at an unexpected moment. She was part of a generation that was proud, humble, courageous, loving, accepting, and stoic.  She gave freely of a big heart which made you feel better about yourself, and grateful to have her in your life.  

Calling hours will be held on Thursday August 29, 2024 from 10:00 AM-12;00 PM in the Smith-Mason Funeral Home,398 Willett Ave Riverside, RI 02915, along with a brief Remembrance at 11:15 AM,. All are welcome.  Burial in Dover, NH will be private.